As important as it is to ask questions of your therapist, it is equally important to ask questions of yourself.  There are a number of questions that you should ask yourself before speaking with a therapist, as well as after you have asked your questions.  Before you get started on your search, ask yourself the following questions.

• Does gender play a role in how comfortable I am talking to someone, and if so, do I want a male or female therapist?

• Does the age of my therapist affect my level of trust or how I will react to them?

• Does the specialty of my therapist matter to me?

• What beliefs do I feel my therapist needs to have in order for my treatment to be successful?

• What goals do I feel that my therapist needs to share?

• What hours and availability will I be able to offer to a therapist?

• What needs do I have in terms of the availability of my therapist outside of regular sessions?

• What can I afford financially if my therapist does not accept my insurance, I do not have insurance, or if my plan requires me to pay up front and await reimbursement?

These questions, with the exception of availability and financial concerns, largely come down to personal preference.  With that said, however, the way you perceive and feel about your therapist will play a large role in the ultimate success or failure of your treatment.  In order for therapy to be successful, you have to trust your therapist and you have to feel comfortable speaking openly and honestly and in trusting the techniques and methods that they teach you.

It is equally important that you ask yourself some questions after you speak to a therapist.  A great idea before you choose a professional to work with on a regular basis is to ask your questions of at least three different professionals.  When you are working with a therapist, you want to feel confident that they are the best person for your needs.  Speak with as many people as possible, and ask yourself the following questions after each conversation.  Write down your answers so that you can compare them objectively after you have spoken to everyone you wish to speak with.

• Did the therapist seem comfortable answering all of my questions?

• Did the therapist seem knowledgeable about my diagnosis and about the treatments that will offer me the best chance of symptom reduction or elimination?

• Did the therapist seem to share my core goals and beliefs regarding therapy?

• Does the therapist leave me feeling comfortable enough that I could share deeply personal and possibly embarrassing things about my life, my past, or my diagnosis?

• Do I trust the answers that the therapist provided me?

• Did the therapist seem respectful of my values and of letting me do the talking when I needed to?

• Did the therapist seem both professional and approachable and do I think they would be reliable?

• Did the therapist leave me feeling safe?

• Are there any financial or availability issues that could pose a problem for my treatment down the line if I choose this therapist?

• Do I have any concerns or doubts about this therapist?

When you have asked yourself these questions, it can be much easier to determine if you are comfortable with the therapist that you have chosen.  While there is no way to guarantee that a therapist will be a perfect fit based on a single phone call or consultation, knowing that you share important beliefs and values can help you make a better decision.  Taking the time to choose the therapist that seems the most likely to offer you benefit is always going to be worthwhile.

The First Therapy Session

The first time you and your therapist meet for a therapy session, you will likely find that you spend a great deal of your time talking about your general condition, your main symptoms, and your goals with therapy.  Setting goals is an important part of treatment, and having milestones that can help you know when things are improving is always a recommended idea.  As you start to accomplish your goals in therapy, you can start setting new goals.

A great idea in the weeks leading up to your first session is to keep a symptom diary.  This can offer your therapist the best way to understand how anxiety is affecting your life.  With panic attacks, it is common to forget details and precipitating events after they occur, simply because your brain works so hard to respond to a trauma even though there is not one occurring.  Keeping an accurate diary of symptoms, attacks, and their causes and writing things down as soon as they occur or as soon as you notice them can give your therapist a clear view of what daily life is like for you.

The most effective way for you to receive treatment is for your therapist to know as much about your condition as possible.  If you know what specific thought, action, or stimuli created your feelings of panic or anxiety, note it in your diary.  If you want to know if your diet may play a role, make a note of your eating habits as well.  If you are plagued by recurring nightmares, keep a dream diary or make note of any dreams you can recall or any symptoms you experience upon waking.  Come to your first appointment prepared with everything your therapist needs to know to get a good view of your symptoms and your anxiety.  This can help you work together to create a treatment plan that will be as effective as possible.

What If Your Therapist Simply Isn’t Working for You?

anxiety therapist

Therapy is often a process of finding the right therapist as much as it is about finding the right treatment.  The simple fact is that, like any relationship in life, sometimes your relationship with your therapist simply isn’t working out.  Understand that this is okay.  Your therapist knows that they aren’t the right answer for everyone, and if things are not working out for you, it is okay to say so, cut your losses, and start looking for therapy that will work for you.

It can be hard to admit that your relationship with your current therapist is not working out as you had hoped, especially if the two of you get along well and you feel as though your therapist is your friend.  It can even provoke feelings of anxiety.  You have revealed some of your deepest secrets to this person, and now you are going to have to find someone new and do it all over again.  Remember that all is not lost, however, and that it may even be easier the second time.  You may even wish to consider if your therapist has someone else that they might recommend.

Of course, not all patient/therapist relationships end on a happy note.  Sometimes, the two of you just can’t see eye to eye.  In fact, sometimes the two of you may even argue.  It is your body and your life, and you have the right to refuse any treatment that goes against your beliefs or values, even if a therapist believes that it might offer you benefit.

So, what are valid reasons for firing your therapist and looking for a new one?  While you don’t want to quit and give up just because therapy gets emotionally intense or because you aren’t better within a few weeks, it is important that you don’t stick around when you don’t feel that you are getting anywhere or when you are unhappy, either.  What follows are a few good reasons why you might want to look for someone else.

• You feel as though, despite repeated therapies and techniques, you just aren’t making progress.

• Your therapist wants you to engage in treatments that conflict with your values, beliefs, or desires, such as medication or other therapies.

• Your therapist often cancels appointments, seems distracted, answers the phone during appointments, or just doesn’t seem to pay attention.

• Your therapist is unable to empathize with your situation or doesn’t make you feel that your feelings are valid.

• Your therapist is overly critical, makes you feel bad about your illness or your choices, or puts you down.

• Your therapist fails to create a clear set of goals or objectives for your treatment.

• Your therapist is trying to treat symptoms that you do not have or convince you of abuses that never took place.

• Your therapist is making large conclusions without evidence, such as suggesting disorders or diagnoses for which you do not exhibit symptoms.

It is important to know that if the therapist/patient relationship is not working, it is best to terminate it.  Severing the relationship and seeking a new therapist is not an indicator of failure on your part.  In fact, it happens all the time.  It can offer great benefit to think of it like any other relationship. You don’t expect every romantic relationship to end in happily ever after or every business partnership to end with a merger between two companies, and you shouldn’t expect that your first therapist has to be the one that you stick with for the duration of your treatment.

In order to achieve recovery from the symptoms of your anxiety or panic disorder, you have to work with the therapist who is best suited for your personality, your values, and your needs.  Taking the opportunity to find the right person for you will always prove to be the right decision, and it is something you should never feel guilty about doing.

Summary

It is crucial for patients to realize that therapy is designed to be beneficial.  If you are not seeing improvement from your therapy sessions, if you do not feel comfortable talking to your therapist, or if you just plain look at each meeting with a sense of dread, you may not have the right therapist.  There is absolutely someone out there who can help you achieve relief from your symptoms of anxiety and panic, but you may have to work to find them.  Put in the effort to find the therapist that is right for you and take the time to express your symptoms as clearly as possible and you will have the best chances of experiencing success in your treatment.