When you experience constant feelings of anxiety or panic, it can be easy to lose your focus when it comes to people around you.  Anxiety can be overwhelming or even disabling, and it is easy to get so caught up in how you feel that you no longer realize how your symptoms and mood are affecting the people around you.  If you suffer from an anxiety or panic disorder, it absolutely affects the people around you.  It is up to you to learn how it affects them and what you can do to ensure that the impact is minimal or that you are not hurting the people closest to you.

Overburdening or Under-communicating?

Trying to find a perfect balance in how much you rely on others can be very difficult for people who are fighting symptoms of anxiety and panic.  For some individuals, a fear of putting too much of a burden on someone leads them to try to fight and manage their symptoms almost entirely alone, while for others the willingness of other people to provide support can be relied upon too heavily, keeping loved ones from living their own lives.

It is important to try to strike a healthy balance.  Communicating with your loved ones about how you are feeling and asking for help when things are overwhelming is absolutely essential.  People who love you will want to support you and are willing to offer a hand when you need it.  Neglecting to tell others when symptoms are overwhelming can make them feel as though you do not trust them or that you do not need them.  If your loved ones do not know that your symptoms are creating problems for you, they may also misread signs of anxiety as signs that you are angry with them.

On the opposite side of the coin, it is important to ensure that you are not fully dependent on loved ones for your every need.  Social anxiety, for example, can often present with a fear of being alone.  For people who have this diagnosis, it is important to ensure that you are not so reliant on loved ones that you do not allow them to leave the house.  Asking for help when you need it is important, but it is equally important to ensure that you are not asking others to help you at the sake of their own mental and physical well being.

Maintaining Marital Bliss

For married people with anxiety, it is almost impossible for your symptoms not to impact your relationship.  After all, a healthy partnership is about communication from both sides.  What you can do, however, is ensure that your anxiety is not having a detrimental effect on your marriage or on your spouse.

Communication is essential in any marriage, but when you have anxiety, it is key.  You need to always keep lines of communication open and honest in both directions, sharing your anxiety and how you feel and allowing your spouse to tell you without judgment when they are feeling overwhelmed.  Let your partner know what you are experiencing and how you are dealing with it.  Understand that while being high strung or experiencing sudden mood changes may seem normal to you when you are experiencing them, your partner is not feeling the same things that you are.

A good idea is to make time to speak openly and honestly with your spouse whenever possible.  Remember that no matter how hard you try, your anxiety will certainly affect you both.  You need to be certain that both of your needs are being met.  If your spouse is a social person but you have developed anxiety about going out in public, you need to ensure that you still allow your loved one the ability to go out and enjoy the things that matter to them.

Couples cannot only survive one partner having an anxiety disorder, they can still manage to thrive.  Maintaining open lines of communication and working hard to ensure that everyone’s needs are met can go a long way.  Always tell your spouse how you are feeling and make sure you listen when they tell you how they are affected by your anxiety as well.  With good communication, you can ensure that your anxiety and panic does not have to spell disaster for your relationship.

What about the Kids?

Everyone who lives with someone who has anxiety is affected in some way, including your children.  Even if they do not understand what is happening or have the ability to communicate what they are feeling, the simple truth is that kids notice when things are different.  If you do not work hard to manage your symptoms, your anxiety can certainly have a negative impact on your children.  With that said, however, it is important to realize that parents with anxiety can still be fantastic parents.  It all comes down to managing your symptoms and ensuring that you are mindful of how your words and behaviors impact your kids.

As mentioned in earlier chapters in this book, in addition to genetic links, observed behaviors can also create anxiety disorders in children.  If your little ones observe that their going outside makes you fearful and anxious, it will begin to create a sense of fear and anxiety in them as well.  Likewise, if your children live in an environment where you are prone to explosive anger or outbursts of emotion, they are more likely to develop these traits.

There are a number of parental traits and behavior that can affect your children in a negative way and increase their likelihood of developing anxiety.  Studies show that children raised in a household with parents who have an anxiety disorder are about seven times more likely to develop one themselves, but staying aware of your actions, seeking treatment for your condition, and possibly even providing therapy for your children can all help to decrease this risk.  Studies show that cognitive behavioral therapy for children of parents with an anxiety disorder can be incredibly effective at helping to prevent the development of anxiety disorders.

What follows are a few behaviors common to parents with anxiety disorders that can increase your child’s chances of developing anxiety:

• Excessive or constant expression of fear or anxiety

• Infrequent expressions of affection

• Over-protectiveness or not allowing the child to engage in social behavior

• Possessiveness of the child

• Poor parent-child communication

• Excessive criticism of the child’s behavior

As more and more research is conducted about the link between parental anxiety and the development of anxiety disorders in children, more doctors than ever are recommending therapy for these children.  There is no way of knowing whether or not your child will develop an anxiety disorder, no matter how well you monitor your displays of anxiety in front of him or her.  Therapy offers the best chance at decreasing the odds, and seeking treatment of your own while working to keep from increasing your child’s anxiety can make a major difference.

What About Your Friends?

Anxiety affects every relationship in your life in some way, and friendships are no different.  In fact, if you have a number of very close friends, it may make one of the biggest impacts of all on this area of your life.  Your friends likely know you inside and out, and they have come to understand your habits, your likes and dislikes, and the way that you typically live your life.  So what happens when anxiety starts to take over?

For most people who develop anxiety or panic disorders, one of the ways that they manifest is in a decreased desire to attend social functions, whether out of social anxiety or a fear that they will experience a panic attack.  If you neglect to tell your friends about your symptoms, they will be left to make their own assumptions about why you keep changing plans or declining invitations.  They may start to think that you are no longer emotionally invested or interested in maintaining a friendship or that you are starting to feel that you are too good for them.

Even if you have informed your friends about your anxiety it is likely to affect the relationship.  It is important to ensure that you are able to talk to your friends about what you are feeling and experiencing and that you can rely on them when times get tough, but it is also important not to become too dependent on them.  Many people with anxiety end up relying on a close friend to start completing many of their tasks, such as shopping, so that they can avoid anxiety-provoking situations.  Not only can this make your friend feel as though you are taking advantage, but it enables your anxiety and can serve to make your symptoms worse.

It is important to strike a balance between what you take from your friends and what you contribute to the relationship.  Good friends will stick by you through thick and thin, but it is important that you seek the treatment you need to ensure that the relationship is healthy for everyone involved.  Your friends shouldn’t have to suffer for your anxiety.

When you are honest with your friends about what you are feeling, you will find that they can often help you to overcome your symptoms.  You may even want to consider asking a close friend to come to a therapy or support group session with you so that they might better understand what living with anxiety is like and what kind of skills you are learning to help you deal with anxiety.  Your friends will always want to see you get better, and you might be surprised how much your relationship can benefit from allowing them the chance to better understand your anxiety disorder.

Anxiety and Work Don’t Always Mix Well

While some people find that their careers offer a great way for them to get away from stress or to focus on things that help take their minds off of stress and anxiety, this is not always the case.  In fact, for some individuals, anxiety disorders can severely impact job performance.  There are a number of ways that anxiety disorders can affect your career, and it may take a great deal of work to help ensure that this is not the case.

One way that anxiety often starts to affect job performance is that it can create difficulty concentrating, which can mean more errors and reduced productivity.  Depending on your career, this can have a severe impact.  Anxiety also commonly causes mood disturbances, which can create conflicts between the sufferer and their coworkers or can even impact interactions with clients and customers.

Depending on the severity of your anxiety disorder and the type of disorder that you have, fears and phobias can also affect performance.  Social phobia can cause some employees to start missing meetings and conferences and to start missing more days of work than usual.  Phobias and panic disorders may cause employees to stop using elevators or to avoid certain assignments due to a fear of groups, of travel, or of getting on an airplane.  Fear of public speaking can also cause job difficulties.

If these symptoms are starting to impact your job, it might be time to be honest with your employer about what is going on.  Depending on your job, they might be able to help make certain accommodations for you.  Your employer might also be able to connect you with an employee assistance program, which many of today’s businesses are establishing to provide mental health counseling and treatment for employees who are experiencing problems that affect their ability to do their job.

Speaking openly and honestly with your employer about your anxiety disorder can certainly be a frightening experience.  Many people worry that they will lose their jobs or that their employers will lose faith in them.  It is up to you to determine if you might benefit from speaking to your employer, but if your anxiety is impacting your performance, it is safe to assume that your employer has noticed.

Letting your employer know that there is an explanation for the change and that you are seeking help for your symptoms will let them know that you haven’t just stopped trying or that you haven’t lost interest in the job.  It is often said that honesty is the best policy, and this is certainly a good time to employ that rule.  It is up to you whether or not you also choose to inform your coworkers about your anxiety, and you may wish to consider whether this knowledge would help or harm your relationship as coworkers.

Summary

If you suffer from an anxiety disorder, it is important for you to realize that it definitely impacts those closest to you.  No matter how hard you strive to protect your loved ones from your anxiety, your symptoms will make a difference in their lives.  With this said, however, the impact does not have to be a negative one.

Take the time to let those closest to you know what is happening with you.  If they are interested, allow family members or friends to attend a therapy or support group session with you so that they may better understand your condition.  Consider the idea of allowing your children to attend therapy sessions of their own so that their risk of anxiety disorders is not increased.  It may be difficult to limit the impact that your anxiety has on others, but with the right actions, you can help ensure that the impact is not a  negative one.  Friends and family members care about you and will want to do whatever they can to help.  Allowing them to understand your illness and ensuring that you are working to maintain a healthy relationship can ensure that your relationships are beneficial for everyone involved.