When someone you love is experiencing the symptoms of an anxiety or panic disorder, it can be very difficult to watch.  Anxiety can cause your loved ones severe distress and it can even affect their ability to function in their daily lives.  Statistics show that treatment can be incredibly effective for people with anxiety disorders, but convincing people you love to get help isn’t always easy.

It is not uncommon for people to deny that they have a problem that requires psychiatric treatment.  After all, there is still a strong stigma that surrounds mental illness both here and around the world.  While a diagnosis of anxiety does not mean that your loved one is crazy, there is often a fear that other people will perceive them in this manner.  This often serves to make it harder for people to accept that they need treatment.

No matter how much your loved one wants to deny it, however, anxiety disorders require proper treatment in order to be resolved.  Left untreated, symptoms can become incredibly disabling.  In this chapter, we will help you look at ways that you can encourage your loved one to seek the treatment of a therapist.

Educate- Show Them the Benefits

There have been countless studies published that show that people who seek treatment for anxiety disorders can experience a significant reduction in symptoms, if not a complete recovery.  This can often offer significant hope for people with anxiety disorders.  Take the time to educate yourself on the benefits of different therapies and then make an effort to educate your loved one as well.

The image that many people have regarding psychiatric treatment is a very outdated one.  Movies and television shows have greatly contributed to the image many people have of psychiatric treatment as simply drugging patients until they are only a shell of their former selves or using methods of therapy that can produce dramatic and frightening results.  Do some research into cognitive behavior therapy and relaxation techniques and show your loved one what these therapies entail.  Sometimes simply letting them see what treatment is really like can be enough to help encourage them to seek the help that they need.

Let Them Know That Therapists Have Seen It Before

Many people with anxiety feel as though their symptoms are unique and strange or that nobody will understand the things that they are thinking or experiencing.  It can offer great benefit to explain to your loved one that their symptoms are common among people with anxiety disorders and that there are therapists who are trained in dealing specifically with symptoms such as theirs.  Knowing that they will not be thought of as strange, crazy, or weird can often be very helpful.

Explain What Their Anxiety Is Doing to Others

If your loved one still does not want to seek treatment for an anxiety disorder, it can help to sit down and explain to them what their anxiety is doing to you, their children, or other loved ones.  Sometimes when people are so overwhelmed by anxiety, it can be hard to see the effects that it has on other people.  Anxiety can have devastating effects on the people that we care about most, and it is important for people to know what effect they are having on others.

If you decide to talk with someone about the effect of their anxiety on loved ones, it is important not to judge or condemn them.  Many people with anxiety are already afraid that they are being judged, and it is important that you try to use positive language and that you help them see what is happening without condemning them.  Choose your words carefully, but let them know that their problem is an issue for more than just themselves.

If the person has children, it can be especially helpful to explain to them how parental anxiety affects children.  Explain that parental anxiety greatly increases the chances of children developing anxiety.  You can also explain that certain behaviors can make it harder for children to feel comfortable expressing themselves and that they are much more likely to develop the same fears and phobias of their parents.  The symptoms of anxiety can be crippling, and the fear of passing those symptoms down to their children can be enough to prompt many parents to seek treatment.

You can also explain what anxiety is doing to your relationship with your loved one.  If it is your spouse, explain how the symptoms are affecting your marriage.  Do you feel increased pressure to avoid time with your friends and loved ones to be with your spouse?  Do you feel as though parental duties or other jobs are falling to you more often as a result of their anxiety?  If your spouse’s anxiety is having a negative impact on your relationship, your self-esteem, or your emotions, it is important to both of you that you voice this.

If the loved one in question is a parent, try to learn what the source of their anxiety may be.  Are they afraid of getting sick or dying?  Have they experienced the loss of a spouse or a close friend?  Find out what is triggering the anxiety and let them know that therapy can be extremely effective.

Helping a friend with anxiety to seek treatment is important as well.  Anxiety can put great strains on a friendship, and it can appear in many ways.  It may start to feel as though your friend is no longer interested in spending time with you or you may feel that they are suddenly having a hard time being away from you.  Encouraging a friend to seek treatment can be particularly difficult, but if you let them know that you are coming from a place of love and caring, it can be much easier.

Let Them Know They Aren’t Alone

One of the biggest problems for many people with anxiety is that it makes you feel extremely different from everyone else.  Many people with anxiety feel as though they are the only person experiencing the symptoms that they are going through.  They may also worry that others will think that they are strange or that they are crazy.  Dispelling these myths can make it much easier to convince someone in your life to get the help that they need.

One thing that you can do is to look up some specific statistics regarding anxiety disorders. If you happen to know which anxiety disorder your loved one is suffering from, let them know how common it is.  Equally importantly, let them know how successful cognitive behavioral therapy can be for treating anxiety disorders.  Make certain that your friend or family member knows that anxiety is not a sign that they are going crazy, and make sure that they know that you realize this as well.

If your loved one is still reluctant to seek professional help, offer to accompany them.  Offer to attend a therapy appointment with them, to help them find a therapist that can offer them treatment, or to attend an anxiety support group.  Show that you are willing to be a part of their treatment and to do what it takes to ensure that they get better.

When Nothing Seems to Work- Be Frank

Sometimes, people just don’t want to get help.  When this happens, it can be difficult.  When you present a loved one with the effects of their anxiety and behavior on you and their loved ones and when you show them what they are doing to themselves and others, it feels like all you can do.  Explaining how effective therapy can be and what life can be like with treatment is a great idea, but it doesn’t always generate the results that we hope.

If your loved one simply won’t respond to your explanations about the benefits of therapy or your offers to attend a support group with them, it may be time to be frank.  Let your loved one know that their mood and their symptoms are damaging your relationship.  Don’t make idle threats or give an ultimatum, but if you feel that their anxiety may make it hard for the two of you to maintain a relationship, now is the time to be honest about it.  When confronted with the notion that they are destroying the relationships with the people closest to them, it can sometimes be enough to convince people to get the treatment they need.

Keep Your Own Well Being In Mind

The simple fact is that there may be people in our lives who simply refuse to get help for their anxiety or panic.  While it is our tendency to stick around until we simply can’t do it anymore, it is important to know that you need to keep your own safety and well being as a priority.  If your loved one has become irritable, controlling, or dependent on you and you feel that your own life is being spent trying to cater to their needs or protect their emotions, it may be time to consider what you want to do.

Walking away from someone with an illness is never easy, but in order for someone to get better, they have to want to get better.  Sticking around to help meet their needs and dealing with mood swings or negative behaviors is not only damaging to you, but it actually gives them reasons not to get help.  Ultimately, you have to be strong enough to know when your efforts to help are only enabling and when your own mental and emotional well being is at stake.

Summary

Convincing a loved one to get help isn’t usually an easy task, but it is a very important one.  There are many things that you can say or do to help show someone you care for that seeking therapy will be the best and most effective option for them and for the people who love them.  Try everything you can to show them that therapy can be effective and that it can even help their symptoms go away, but ensure that you do not put your own well being at risk if someone you love refuses to seek help for their anxiety.